words always come to me when im somewhere where i cannot write. then when i arrive at a place where i can safely jot down my thoughts, my mind draws a blank. damn you, cerebellum. damn you, medulla, and damn you, cerebral cortex!!



...*pacepacepace* yes. this is what im thinking about right now...
im thinking of the deep down and often over looked characteristcs in us homosapians which often make up a large part of us. The small, sometimes "insignificant" thoughts and ideas and memories...the things that we think often upon....but we fail to tell anyone else fearing its of no importance to bring up. I have them. and you have them. and sometimes....these small thoughts...these...minuscule memories and thoughts and feelings that captivate us in such away that our whole lives revolve around it...and the sad part is that half the time we aren't even aware. ....We're not aware until we realize just how much this things eats away at us.....eating and feeding off of our mere beings until thats all that is being focused on. When you realize that this thing is devouring you, you can handle it in two different ways. you can accept it and hand feed it the last of your dignity. Or, option two, you can look it in the eyes and accept it. accept that that was then. this is now. a completely different time...a time where a completely different energy is enveloping you. Mate rocked me to sleep as he reminded me of these truths.

Im not going to hold a negative stigma towards this coming season.


*ahem*
*pacepacepace*
This afternoon i was sitting on my bed, freshly cleansed and i was naked. matty was curled up in her...skin. -.- and i was drawing...something i rarely do these days. Which is sad because i do enjoy letting loose my creative illustration side, but rarely does it want to come out. Just one of those patient talents, i suppose. My art is something that is not my own, it has its own moods and its own feelings. It seems as though it is a completely seperate entity from myself.... >.>
<.<
anyways...my bed. me. drawing. and i had the radio on. i had it on the classical station of course. The medley of stringed instruments was mere background noise until a certain song came on. A song entitled "Fantasia On a Theme"....and i became very intrigued. i ran downstairs and downloaded it (god bless the interwebby) and have been listening to this same song on repeat all day. its so.....i dont know. foreboding almost. a feeling of....eager anxiety....if that makes sense. i love it.


i like music. and i like drivng. and i like matty. and i like jake. and i like wolves. and i like the nighttime o.O i like a lot of things.


today is a good day. i had to stay late at work which i dont mind. cathy likes me now. i am glad.
cathy does not like joe.
for this, i am equally glad.
but i shall not hold any grudges! and i shall not talk about joe as if he were a naughty child in a bleach-covered daycare!!

im sorry whoever reads this! but my mind skips and dabbles in different places constantly. so now i am changing direction. again.





and maybe ending this long post. because....well..........


yes.

that is all.