lets see.
my dream. last night. it was interesting.
i was at my house. it was full. i was sitting in a room upstairs. i was in my pajamas. this very fancy looking lady who looked extremely well-to-do came up and just started messing around, looking in drawers and what not. i knew she was just staying the night (my house was a sort of bed and breakfast) but still, i couldnt stand her. she kept going out to her van. the 3rd or 4th time she went out i watched her and saw someones legs in the backset. and cleavage. but no heads. i went outside, stopping in the womans room first. i opened her closet on "accident" and peered inside. yes, just what i imagined. fur coats and heels and very fancy outfits all hung up in the closet perfectly. i sighed. shes travelling! and she packs like this??! i proceeded to the parking lot and to the van. i went inside and there were two girls, maybe about 15 or 16 in age. the had short shorts on and long necked shirts. they were sitting in the back of a mini van and had their seat belts on. the one on the right was extremely tan...fake tan...all orange-like. i just sat there and listened to there conversation, which was more of an arguement.
" your tan looks awful!" says the pale girl
"i like it!" yells back the tan girl.
pale girl, "it looks terrible!!!"
tan girl, silent for a second, then.."yes. you're right. i look bad!!!"
i think they were sisters.
then i was back in my house. i was sad because jake had left me. and so i was just walking around downstairs when i heard a tap on my window. i went to it, and was a little scared, but i put the blinds up, and, yes, it was dustin almanderaz. o.O he looked very dirty and appeared to have been travelling for a very long time. he told me he forgot his earing at my house. i said "okay" and let him in. he went into the bathroom and brought out a smallish hoop-type earing. i was on the floor by the piano petting matty and he kneeled down beside me. he placed it the earing by her nose. i told him now. he placed it by her snout. i said NO! he placed it on her head. and said no. he put it on her eye. i said no again. then he placed it on her ear. i said "okay". i dont know why! and he shoves this earing into poor mattys ear. then he puts another one in her leg. she tries to get up but she cant even use her leg. i start to cry. i didnt like to see matty in pain. dustin just left. and i took the earrings out of matty and threw them at him. i yelled at him and comforted matty. then she could walk again. i go outside to let matty out. the time was very late. but in the alley, there was a sound that sounded like the garbage truck....and i could see the headlights. i tell matty to stay close. the truck/machine/whatever comes out of the alley and has a huge screw hand. it is taking trash and going into the ground and sucking things out and its very scary. i run inside and brian is on the steps, laying down packing blankets the end.





last night was very bad. coworker laziness ruins my mood for the entire day. and now mate is unhappy. -.-


ugh.

yes. that awful feeling is burning at the base of my stomach again. something i cannot ignore...
tonight is strange. very strange....

these pictures....*sigh*....bring out the epitome of happysad in me.

im deeply in love with them.
im always going to have an infinite passion for the night sky.....

my cough is getting better. thank god i haven't been smoking lately. i feel very good about quitting my habit. very accomplished! i never thought it could be done. ^_^

well. last night...my boy and i went for a drive to Idaho City. it was very pleasant. we acquired hot chocolate and cheesy seeds at a hodunk gas station right in the heart of the little mountain town. Oh, how i love mountain villiages! I watched a man talk on a pay phone (yes, he USED a payphone!!) and he looked so....i dont know. like he knew what was going on. o.O with his logger shirt and his pants tucked into his big work boots and a nice floppy hat to top it all off. i enjoyed watching him there in the dusk light. ^_^;; i want to live somewhere like that someday. i really do.

i keep on thinking about what jake brought up about the scales of time.
earth=present for millions of years.
sun=has been present for billllllions of years.
you and i= will be around a max of 80 or so years.

commitiments dont seem that scary when thinking in a way like that. we're here for such a short period of time it amazes me. and to think that we strive to learn everything about our existence in that short of time??!! what are we thinking. maybe thats why other people come into our lives....so we dont have to think about it all by ourselves. we take certain bits nad pieces from other peoples' experiences and add it on to our own long list of things we know.....
very strange. very different.
and i thought about the years. and dogs??? dogs live what?? 9....10.....14..years?? what a short existence that is!! yet we hold so dear to them.
agh. ...........

i wish i had a photo of the sky last night. the clouds were huge and had an incredible red glow to them (due to the city lights in over the hills im sure) and the stars were just scattered everywhere. and they were so bright. so wonderful. and i looked at mate a lot. watched him drive #1. how the light hit his features. hes a beautiful person. really, really beautiful. its strange how connected i feel to him and ive only been seeing him for 2 months about. we really jumped into this but, god, im glad we did. every day i think of him and i get this crazy euphoric, extremely anxious, happysad feeling. its wonderful. id like to spend a good part of this short existence with this boy. hes very very dear to me. im glad i am where i am. right now. at this very moment of my life. im very content.




i got a a parking ticket last night.
wait.
let me explain the scene.
HEY ITS BSU DAY!! FOOTBAWLLLLLL!!!!!!! all the men and their blue and orange. LETS WATCH FOOOOOTBAWLLL!!! they park anywhere and everywhere. all broadway and surrounding streets are just littered with this crazy BSU fans ....all walking toward the stadium like a gaggle of geese to a really big pond. o.O and so i drive! me and webby!! down jakes street. and no parking!!! because they took all the spots!! and i cant parallel park!!!!!!!! AH BASTARDS. so i park where i can. and i shouldve turned and parked the CORRECT way on the street but i didnt. because i was aggravated. and so i got a ticket. a $36 fine for parking the WRONG WAY on a street. i love road violations!!! thank you, police officer! thank you boise! thank you grant street!! thank you BSU!!!

that is all.
i want to go play some Zelda before i have to go and lasso dogzzz.