hell of a day

I woke up this morning feeling much, much better. im very glad i took the day off yesterday...i caught up on my reading (finished The Last Unicorn and began Food of the Gods)...and had a complete healing day. and it payed off. and im not preggers. praise sanjaya.

I was a little late for work but no worries. It started off as an ordinary day....the children behaved sparatically, as usual. nothing too bad. until the middle of 4th period. we were in the home room, all of us together when a very bulky, tall man in a striped shirt and a tie clinging to his shoulder (due to the extreme wind) came hurrying in. "Hi im mr. S-gjdfisgjdfkg." nobody could understand what his last name was so he had us call him mr. S. He took a seat in the back of the room and the kids' attention turned back onto Melissa (the teacher). Within the first 10 minutes that this oaf was in the room, he constantly shouted out things that weren't particularly relevant to the discussion. When Melissa had 2 girls go over to the computers, he interrupted and stated in his booming, slightly homosexual voice "i was a network technician for 19 years. i can help them". At this comment i cock my head and think "well they're just logging on to the computer...i dont think it takes a network technician to figure that out..".. and that was just the beginning. Everyone (about 9 resource kidd and 3 paras) are all in their own little groups. I am playing scrabble with the notorious Cody Seymore and Anthony...barely 5 ft, sporting leg braces and hair down to the middle of his back. Melissa tells this substitute to just monitor these 2 kids that are on the computer...to simply watch them. But no. He is difficult. like one of the chidlren. He goes over to jake, who is on his beanbag in the corner due to bad behavior, and asks him ..."HEY BUDDY> YA WANNA ARM WRESTELE??!!" Jake is totally into this idea but Melissa calmly goes over and asks him to go sit back down at the table. He appologized to her but then continues to call out to jake, "WELL HAY IF YOU WANT YOU CAN JUST COME OVER HERE".. by this time melissa is getting pretty annoyed and had to go over and further explain to him that "No, Jake is sitting there for a reason. I need you to sit at that table and monitor the girls on the computer". He sits back down and is like "I just love these kids...I love these kids". Despite of Melissas multiple warnings, he goes over to jake AGAIN. Melissa had to scold this f'n SUBSTITUTE like one of the students.."I need you to sit down and stay there. i am the authority in this room and i need you to sit down and do as i tell you". He is quiet then but..of course...to my disbelief...the next minute i hear him say, pointing at jake.."SO DOES THIS ONE HAVE SOME KIND OF PHYSICAL DISABILITY??!!" I was sitting across the room and by this time my eyes were just wide with astonishment. Did he actually say that in the middle of a full classroom?? Everyone pretended to ignore him for the sake of not embarrassing jake or anyone else. It was just...a WTF moment for sure. When the bell rings i rush to 7th grade science, happy to get away from that guy. Soo...weird.
Bell rings. 2:40.
I go back to the home room and this is when i heard some great stories. I guess Melissa was tired of "Mr. S" so she sent him to room 108, a language class off of the auditorium, which was led by humble, patient, Sue Davis. She is old. pear shaped. but so cute. She tells me that this guy, of course, wasn't following directions. Was waving both of his arms up in the middle of a discussion like a 3rd grader, wanting to tell a story about blisters. O.O wtf. He was completely oblivious to anything and everything. The first thing he said when he entered the room full of LEARNING DISABLED students was, yes, "IM DUMBER THAN ALL OF YOU. I AM DYSLEXIC AND HAVE A.D.D" yea. no shit. He was making such a scene in the class, not following the directions, blurting out random remarks, that when he honest to god grabbed his crotch and told Sue that "i have to go Potty", Dakotah, a pudgy 7th grader asked "...is that guy drunk??" I wouldn't doubt it. A man wandered into the middle school last year, peering into all the windows and trying to open doors. the school went into a lockdown. before the cops could get to the school he ran off campus and they never found him. I wouldn't be surprised if Mr.S was THAT GUY. if he didnt have a substitute badge i totally would have questioned him. well...i do question him! i dont know how he became a sub in the first place because hes totally unprofessional and has no clue what he's doing.
OH...\
and earlier in the day he grabbed his crotch for the first time, asking where the bathroom was and was then told to go to the bathroom with the papersign outside of the building. He took the key. Outside there were two bathrooms. the "mens" bathroom which is now the bathroom that the more extreme resource room uses to change the diapers of the incompetent. The other one, with the paper sign, is the unisex bathroom that everyone else uses. guess which one this guy went into.
and guess what was happening in that room.
yep. he walked in on some kid getting feces wiped out of his anal cavity. Melissa had to personally appologize to the other teacher.

Holy crap. we totally blacklisted this guy from ever come back. melissa wrote a letter to the district and therefore i highly doubt that we will be seeing the wonderful Mr. S ever again. good riddance.

and now...
a quote. from cody seymore. while playing scrabble.

"...we are all champs. but nothing like the champions of the world. they have been champions for 9 years! they win at board games, and sports, and reading! they are the chamnpions of the world!"

my god.

on a less humerous note, my position was cut! guess i wont be working there next year. i actually almost teared up when i heard that. O.O i finally have a job i adore, one that im proud im doing.
I'm going to stay in the school district next year, i think. I just wont be working with the people i do now, which is really too bad. i have come to thoroughly enjoy them....

changechangechange. i am used to it. always accept change. it usually brings you something better.

inconvenience

i was excited to go exploring today but instead i spent all day inside due to my "almost" sick state. i do not want to get sick!! i dont understand because i wash my hands like 54364363 times a day and use hand sanitizer every 10 min. :( makes me sad. i guess i can catch up on some reading....and thinking.

i would like to meet new people. or get in touch with old friends. i am a little lonely these days i think.

today i tried to conjure up the steps to getting telenet to work but i have forgotten! its been so long. I wanted to get into a MUCK or MUD but just couldnt remember how. -.- i tried to download mudsock but that was giving me trouble too. I found all these telenet communities and i didnt realize it was still so prominent in the webby. i feel ridiculous spending more than an hour trying to figure out an f'n multi-user dungeon so i have given up for the day. time to do things in RL.. 6.6

anyways.
i am flustered.
my nose...it runs.....

glorious

Today it was very nice out...in the 70s for sure. I definatly wanted to take advantage of this oppurtunity so Matty and i went to the foothills. My super-over-played cd of cradle of filth (x.x) was playing due to my laziness of not wanting to find another music choice. Matty and i arrived on the road that meets up with Reserve Rd......whatever its called....its the one that leads to the gazebo area. We parked somewhere new. why? i do not now. a dirt patch with 3 or 4 cars parked on it. we got out and went down a hill and, yes, there was a dog park i had never even new existed. what luck! matty frolicked but quickly grew bored and a little antisocial. i was glad to leave the awkward dog park conversation ("what kind of dog is that?? how old is she? Oh thats so cute! mine does this. mine does that..") i hate dog park small talk with a passion. >.< im just going to pretend i am deaf next time.
anyways. we climbed a hill and i was not sure where it would lead me, but i welcomed the mystery. i dislike knowing my destination.
unfortunatly the path did lead me somewhere familiar, but i didnt mind. because the place it brought me to was the notorious gazebo. holy place. energy fueled wooden sanctuary. i sighed as i approached it. how funny it looks...all decrepit. graffiti here and there. This odd little creation placed on top of this mighty hill...
i walked to the cement picnic table that was under the gazebo and layed down on it. matty sniffed around as i thought.
It is a fine thinking place. Wind in my ears. Eyes focused in between the wooden planks that make up the roof, and onto the sky.
I thought about my friend Mindy...20 year old mother of 4. i feel very sad for her. she has no time for herself. no time to think. no way she would have the time to come out to a place like this and contimplate life. i am glad i am me.
on that picnic bench i thought about the way i feel about things..
I thought about the mind. human intellect at its finest. if you set yourself to do so, you could reach depts of the mind that you wouldnt think were even possible. The way i see it, in a very literal way, is that the mind is black. a darkish gray. maybe a little brown. when conjuring lesser known and understood feelings about things, you travel backwards. into a yellowish white area. you pass this barrier and you are instantly in the universe. the universe is your own. and the universe is in your mind...always waiting...patiently counting the days, hours, seconds, until you decide to acknowledge it. I think its so incredible, so extremely overwhelming to think and...to even comprehend...that we as humans are capable of the things that we are. look at all the incredible scientists, philosophers, artists...people in general. look at the things we have accomplished. conundrums we have figured out. We potentially have the answer to space and time but the sad thing is is that the majority of the human-being population turns the other cheek when exposed to the idea. People these days are blind and stupid. Wanting instant satisfaction...and satisfaction with things that they can hold and touch. see. they will not even try to conceive the "impossible". I swear i will never let my mind end up numb and cold...
i have travelled to that whitish yellow gate to the mental universe many times and i will continue making trips there. perhaps i'll build a summer house there too.

I think everyone is connected. every person...every animal. i think we all have a sort of mental tie that is wrapped around every being...like those string lights during christmas time. i wish people could learn from each other more thoroughly though. thats the point of being strung together...to take in mind other peoples expereinces, thoughts, ideas. its frusterating we will never know another person truly. Know them to their most extreme. And vice versa. no one will ever know you the way you perceive yourself. Nobody will know what you see in your mind when you try to explain to them your favorite memory. or your most intense experience. or whatever it may be. we are all our own little enigmas. our own universes. ^.^

I am listening to Castlevania4 midis...well....the cave/waterfall midi on repeat. it is cozy. that game is incredible.

april 17th

I came downstairs today and mother had lit incense....the smoke hadn't been disturbed so it had created a sort of fog in the living room. i could get the sparse clouds of scented smoke right to my line of sight....seeing both the top and bottom of it. Then i decided to lay under it. it was nice being under a canopy of smoke until dudley....redicilous dudley.....decided to run over and wag his tail and ruin it!

Even though its not warm outside in the slightest bit, i feel the sensation of a summer night staring at me through the window. I am anxious....ready for something. I can see the upper sky through the window. Dark blue at the top, flowing into a greenish blue towards the bottom...

vrrrrrrrooooom

Hello. i am sitting at home with an achy set of ovaries and im suffering from a disease called matesickness. jake has been busy and ive been horny. D: sometimes life and nature are just not fair to you. I got back from portland the other day. it was very fun! haven't been travelling since christmas time so it was a good break. i had good travelling companions (jake, caitlin, chris bloxham). between the rancid punk rocker house, rainy walks, terrifying/awkward train rides, and general mood of happiness, it was a very good time! ^.^ Jake and i and the snook family are going to greece in june.....sooo excited. i finally get to take my lover to a crazy destination. how exhilerating. i've been spending lots of time with caitlin...thats good. i like her. my only girl friend!!
i walked a long walk today! kinda. i was sitting on my couch and i ate too much food so i decided to do something active so i walked all over downtown meridian....i like walking with the furkids. then i came home and attempted to draw but the mood wasnt there so i just watched a movie. drawing is so funny for me. i can create things im damn proud of just out of nowhere but then, often, i struggle just drawing something as simple as a head. oh, muse. you have your own mood!!

i am reading a good book called Sharp Teeth-having to do with werewolves and doggies it captures my attention quite thuroughly. im going to go read that now. i have to get up early for im thinking about attending an old mans funeral.

farwell.